A Farm in my Dreams

I stood in a town where the roads were sand and the buildings were rock. The heat would have been unbearable had I not been acclimating over the last week. My feet were dirty in my sandals, and my whole body was covered in a layer of dust. In my unclean state, I was finally clean, for all things shared the unclean state. Should a rich man ride by, with clean skin glistening fairly in the sun, I would see him as unclean for he was the one fighting against the natural order. I was a little thirsty, and very hungry as the lunch hour approached, and though the preparation of lunch would scare most pampered americans, it would rank among the most grateful and satisfying meals I had ever consumed. Yes, after the days of travel and the nights of sleeping on concrete without sleeping bag or pillow, I was home where I stood. "I wish I had my skateboard," was my only complaint. I told my mother that I would return, and even though I did return a few years later, that was not the return I spoke of. Someday I would return home, and I would make a bed for myself, and I would make a table for myself. Someday I would return home to stay home, and someday I will return home. I will create a farm to sustain myself, and a home to protect me. I will create rooms for my children, and space for my wife, should children and a wife become a reality for my life. The windows I pictured in my architecture class would no longer be a dream. Yes, this dream that I dream will be a life that I awaken unto. I have seen the place where my life shall end, and I now take steps every day toward that end.

Twenty Fifteen.

That which has a beginning also has an end. The last year has been one that I had not quite imagined, and I hope that the next year will treat me the same way. In 2014 I reached deep within myself, and I grasped an intention. The picture was never perfectly clear to me, but the intention became clear: build something beautiful, and learn to love more. I have some vision for the next year. I can see myself investing deeper in relationships in 2015. I can see myself in a house in 2015. I can see myself with a dog in 2015. I can see myself competing in the Big Western Barista Competition in 2015. I can see myself coming into a large sum of money in 2015. These are a few of the things that come with my vision for the next year, however none of these things dictate what 2015 will be. I have no desire of great change or great achievement in 2015. Rather, I hope to fall more and more into alignment with that which is around me, that which is behind me, and that which is ahead of me. I welcome another year, and my intention is simply to continue aligning.

choose love

Choose love, not fear. Just think about it. Think about how afraid you are. Here is a fun idea. Find a fear today. One that is small, or one that is large; truly, it does not matter. Look that fear directly in the eye. Ask yourself, what is this fear? and where does it come from? Watch the fear dissolve. When your fears dissolve, it is as if shackles fall from your body. Enjoy fearless love now. Like the sun, radiate fearlessly.

Shackles

Shackles. Clank, clank. The chosen, unchosen. Collectively agreed slavery. The series of consenting steps, now we all hear it. In the back of your mind: clank, clank. You hear it, you know it. So do they. Direction results of intention: clank, clank. Loss of an eye, but lack of awareness: clank, clank. Connecting less, comfort comfort comfort: clank, clank. A lie in the truth: clank, clank. No help, no hope: clank, clank. Shackles: clank, clank.

Morning Rush

I love waking up early. Feeling warmth return to the earth after the cold of night. Watching the streets turn from silent and empty to noisy with the overflow of cars. Like a gutter during a rainstorm, we all move from our spacious clouds where we were floating and spread out like vapor, to a collective downpour that reaches a bottle neck in the gutter. We move from individual drops to a single stream. Though I wonder if the water droplets look from left to right with resentment for their newfound community of travelers. We all seem to agree that we do not enjoy being a part of this stream that floods our streets every morning, but to sit safely on the sidewalk or in a quiet cafe and watch is like hearing the rain fall on a tin roof.

Love

Bound by chain. Motionless. For struggle had proven useless. Heavy shackles. But light. Compared to weight of heart. A lightness. A sensation. A craving. Then an answer. Love.

Appetite.

Appetite is like a fire. Do not be fooled to feed the fire as much as the fire desires, for all of the earth would be consumed by flame. It is best that this projection of the mind not be fed, rather acknowledged, and ultimately ignored. Think to yourself about the interactions you have with a child. The child tells you of all of their desires, and exaggerates these desires to you. The child is consumed by appetite, yet you do not feed the child with everything they ask for. In the same way, manage your own appetite. Take on a perspective that is larger than the perspective you naturally hold, and use that perspective to channel the inner adult for your inner child. From this perspective you may enjoy an even temperament that will free you from the slavery of your appetite. Be wary to see your appetite as your needs; for the appetite will grow and consume you entirely.